THANK THE LAWD FOR THE NEW DAY
If it's not obvious by now, my personal favourite parts of the shows are captured in the above image-space beneath the headers. Sometimes it's hard to decide on a good picture. Some other times, like with Battleground, the decision is between a transparent image or the only decent thing on the show. Xavier Woods is probably the only person that saved the show from being completely worthless. This is hardly an exaggeration.
KING BARRETT vs. R-TRUTH
For the fucking ownership of a fucking crown that means fucking nothing
'weak'
'weak'
I tuned in half way through this travesty of a feud, but what I saw wasn't horrendous. I guess you get better at wrestling a specific person when you wrestle them like twenty times in a month (including likely house shows), but no one really wants to see that any more than twice, if not even once.
It sucks for both guys, obviously. Barrett had been slated so many times in his career to be the next guy to "make the Intercontinental Championship matter", or the guy to "win the Money in the Bank briefcase" next year, or even "the next World Champion", and injuries always seemed to offset those predictions, which obviously held weight considering his talent, and now that he has had a relatively long stint without being hurt, he's in a nothing feud with Truth? It's such a massive waste, as if all these injuries make him completely unable to be trusted by management or something.
And for Truth, he's still entertaining to a big part of the audience, and his heel run with Miz was great, and he still hasn't gotten anything out of it, not even a 'last hurrah' considering his age, which is a lot more than most of the other full-time wrestlers. I wouldn't be against Truth becoming IC Champion or something like that just one last time. Or facing Cena to prove he can still go in the ring at his age (he's one of the few guys that could gain something from it to be honest), but I guess he'll just trade wins in irrelevancy.
RANDY ORTON vs. SHEAMUS
Apparently so Orton can have another nothing match just for the hometown pop
'average'
It makes absolutely no sense to me why they put THIS match that got booed out of the building more than just once in history (and it only needed to happen once) on a special event in Battleground, which itself, has been lauded, and listed as 2013 and 2014's worst PPV of the year by Wrestling Observer Newsletter - which is the reason for this title as well, if it was lost on anyone.
Orton had to be there because it's St. Louis, I get it. And Sheamus had to be there to stay relevant as Money in the Bank briefcase fella. It all makes sense. But against each other? That I don't get. I'm sure they could've put something else on the pre-show, scrapped Barrett and Truth, had Orton take on Rusev or something, and then have Sheamus take on Neville again, or something along those lines. Anything but Orton vs. Sheamus.
The match was a lot better with the two not being "respectful faces" though. Weirdly I had a feeling this match was going to be the best match of the night somehow and it seems it really was. There wasn't anything special or amazing at all. Nothing was out of the ordinary for Orton and honestly I think it was a bit of a weak effort from Sheamus (out of the ordinary is anything that isn't weak from Orton lol) but it still managed to outdo the rest of the matches all night with ease.
I guess Orton getting another win just puts him on the shelf for a little while again, or back to his irregular Raw showings and PPV matches. Maybe he sticks around until SummerSlam is over and then comes back for Survivor Series? Dunno, but anything he does is pretty boring by proxy again.
THE NEW DAY (KOFI KINGSTON & BIG E) vs. THE PRIMETIME PLAYERS
For the WWE Tag Team Championship
'average'
The saving performance of the show. Thank FUCK this was a match and it wasn't something hit-or-miss like PTPs versus the Lucha Dragons or something. A solid decision with solid talent who have proven their decency at the least against eachother was exactly what they needed to make Battleground have one thing worth watching that wasn't worth watching just for shock value.
As always, Young impresses me with how fluid he is in the ring. I think it's criminal that the guy hasn't had the chance to really put on a 'clinic' against one of the top guys. Maybe throwing Young and Woods in a ten minute singles match without any stupid outside interference would do good for the two and the tag division as a whole, because both guys can work but neither have had that moment to prove it like they should.
Too bad that Woods wasn't working in-ring for the match, but his antics outside sure made up for it. Who needs Abe Washington on the PTPs when you got Woods who's so much better and a wrestler for the New Day? Those damn taunts were fantastic. The GIF I posted up above was second only to Woods crawling on the floor like a cocky Randy Orton when Young got thrown over the turnbuckle. As soon as Woods yelled out "WORST LEG DROP EVER!" he was on FIRE.
And we all know Titus is goofy but he has one of the best hot-tag games going right now. Just going in and running roughshod is the best thing he can do. Throw people around, display his only two good qualities (and when I say "only two" I mean it as nicely as possible) in his inhuman strength and awesome charisma, pick up the win using the two, and have that cheesy ass smile at the end of the match.
I'm still surprised there hasn't been a strength-off between Big E and Titus yet though. It looked like we were gonna get it this match but I guess not. I legitimately wonder who's more impressive. It has to be done before the feud is over damn it.
ROMAN REIGNS vs. BRAY WYATT
To defend Roman's daughter from paedophiles
'weak'
I'm clearly still not a fan of Wyatt and I probably never will be, and I definitely won't be 'invested' in a match between Reigns and Wyatt and no one else... ever... but I did kinda watch this match. Despite hardly watching the screen because I honestly don't care about Wyatt at all and really don't care for Reigns in this capacity, it wasn't that bad. Though, I expect more out of Reigns and wish Wyatt would either fuck off or prove himself in the ring instead of being plodding and slow as fuck.
Neither happened. Wyatt didn't leave nor did he prove himself. This match went for way too damn long. Twenty-two fricken minutes apparently? And it ends with an interference? Well, at least it was unexpected. Probably the biggest actual shock of the night seeing as WWE ruin everything "big" by probably purposely leaking things out to ensure viewership.
The best part of this match was Reigns running into the steps like an idiot. Wyatt didn't look like he was in a position to be hurt by a shoulder tackle into the steps and Reigns didn't look like he was aiming at him at all.
Give a guy like Wyatt who hasn't any great matches under his belt, and a guy like Reigns, who has only two, and in 50% of those (yes that's one) got his ass whipped for almost the entirety, twenty-two minutes in the ring and expect... what? This time could've given Cesaro or Rusev, or even Neville a spot to impress and make this show better than subpar.
CHARLOTTE vs. BRIE BELLA vs. SASHA BANKS
To waste an incredible opportunity
'WASTED'
For a split goddamn second I was hyped to see Charlotte and Sasha in the ring against the Divas Champion NIKKI Bella but the FUCKING bookers had to almost completely sabotage this by throwing Brie in.
Holy shit this match was awkward. What a horrendous setting for both Charlotte and especially Sasha - seeing as she didn't pick up the win - to debut in. From my view it seemed like Brie tried to control the match every time she was in the ring, despite Sasha and Charlotte having the superior chemistry and better knowledge of lengthier matches. Brie should know better.
I really can't trash this much because the only shite happened because of Brie, but the booking behind it all was just so bad. So uninspired. So uncaring. Pull up these amazingly influential women and make them look bad by pairing them with the objectively worst wrestler of the group. Why didn't they utilise Alicia Fox in this role? It'd be a lot more sensible, seeing as she's not even a Bella, has historically been a jobber, and has actually worked with Charlotte and Sasha when NXT had her down there a couple of times.
So Charlotte and Sasha have a particularly good match on the last NXT televised before Battleground and bookers decide to throw them into a match with Brie fucking Bella who seemed to either not thought about what the hell she's going to do in the match, OR, is actually that disappointingly bad that she just looked like she had no idea. So now the bookers, management, and some ignorant ass fans will think these two are just like the rest. I really hope they don't continue this.
This just makes no damn sense and disappointed me so very much.
KEVIN OWENS vs. JOHN CENA (c)
To destroy the hopes and dreams of many
To devalue the concept of a quick promotion
To kill off the concept of an anti-Cena
And for the WWE United States Championship
'Pretty fucking shitty again'
An abundance of nonsensical near falls don't make a match good.
Just like making your fastest rising developmental star and most interesting character on weekly television tap out to John Cena of all people doesn't make anyone look good.
There are some people who would overreact and talk shit about how "Cena just buried yet another talent!".
And there are some people who would try to validate this by talking shit about how "Cena's the best guy, losing to him doesn't matter!".
The thing is, with this match, WWE hasn't buried or ruined Kevin Owens, but they have hindered him and prevented him from being something that he could be, and honestly that could be just as bad if it's horribly mismanaged like everything else on the show is. I would argue they fucked it up originally in the first loss, but with Owens losing a second time, both in a row and after his first and only win, they've only made it look worse, and dug that hole (not to bury) even further.
Cena continued his ridiculous attempts at making his matches look better than they are, fooling only the goobers that fall for the subtle brainwashing, by performing "new manoeuvres" as Michael Cole exclaims in the background "You gotta give John credit, guys!", as if any of those new manoeuvres are fundamentally decent, executed well, or make any sense. Which none of them do and haven't since he adopted them. Still using that awful neck-breaking hurricanrana anyone other than Cena would be demonised for using wrongly, the horribly executed dropkick that even The Rock at his fathers' Hall of Fame speech said he would never try to do as he couldn't do it like Rocky Johnson, and that abyssmal springboard stunner no one else in the world would ever bother trying to do because it's fucking SHIT.
And there are people that applaud this.
Past Cena proving his lack of true coordination and wrestling ability outside of the natural bare minimum you would pick up after wrestling for 12+ years, Owens was using his regular moveset which has unfortunately already been drawn out a little bit due to wrestling Cena in overly-done, near-fall-reliant lengthy matches three times.
So in this match, which was far from good, just some excessive bullshit with a whole lot of fucking near-falls, we had Cena continue his shtick of being worse than he has in the last few years, Owens become a bit more overexposed, and a horrendous ending that was the lowest of an already low night.
What's more disappointing about Owens losing is the people who genuinely, legitimately defend Cena throughout all of this. Not just defending him for being the main hand in making a new talent look like a doofus, but also defending him for respecting the fact he himself cannot do certain moves and shouldn't do them at all.
BROCK LESNAR vs. SETH ROLLINS (c)
For the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
'???'
We all read the reports. A big shock became a big bummer. Instead of being 50/50 in euphoric surprise and whatever-the-opposite-of-nostalgia-is in disappointment, it was mostly just annoyance and disappointment instead.
I was actually hyped for Rollins to get in a decent offence by attacking THE BEAST's untrained and weak legs...
Oh, that's not his weak spot and his leg was injured on Raw some weeks before?
Well anyway, that was disappointing.
The abrupt leaving of Rollins really does show a lot about WWE. I completely agree with the sentiment that Rollins disappearing completely to leave the 50 year old Undertaker in the ring alone with Brock is just flat-out bad. Not really any more words, I think everyone feels the same way.
What an awful yet apt ending to an awful show. I never believed that Battleground 2013 or 2014 were that bad. But this is horrible, just fucking horrible.
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